I cannot say enough about Paper Lili! It is the CUTEST line of clothing! It has been a favorite of mine every year!!! Christy recently sent me a few holiday items for the kids to model & while it is now Halloween, Christmas isn’t quite everywhere, soooo, I thought we would try & find some snow!!! So today we drove up to Mt. Shasta, and found a little bit of snow & a whole bunch of rain! The kids ROCKED it, though!!! Get your HOLIDAY Paper Lili today!!! oh– and make sure to check out Paper Lili’s blog!!! It’s full of the latest & greatest & Christy has the most amazing ideas & creations of anyone that I know!!!! Thanks Christy for putting the best BLING on the planet!!!!
A kind of golden hour one remembers for a life time…. Everything was touched with magic. -Margaret Bourke-White
I cannot even explain how magical the light was during this shoot!! Shea! You are gorgeous!! I so enjoyed capturing you!!!! May your future and dreams come true! Best wishes in all that you pursue!
Around the beginning of October one of my good friends mentioned “this was the month” & she asked how I was doing with it all & I didn’t really respond, it felt surreal that it was here. She continued talking, and said to me, “Heather, let this month be a reflection of the miracle of your marriage, the reconciliation between you & your husband, and that your family is better than ever!” Mandye, thank you! I have clung tight to those words, and they were so the foundation of this month, positioning myself to think about all of the positive, and to hold onto where this journey has taken us.
I’ve thought about writing this blog post many times. Thoughts have come & gone, time has come & gone! I honestly never thought it would be a “year ago”! We made it! AHHH! 365 days ago, my husband confessed he had a moral failure with a co-worker. Life as I knew it was crashing in front of me, yet at the very moment it was crashing, I knew it was going to be okay. He stepped down from his leadership position at the church where he worked, met with many many people, cleaning up messes, and owning his part, but most importantly, pursuing my heart & the hearts of his children. He fully confessed to our kids, and has been as transparent with them, as he was to the world. We both have been in more counseling than I ever knew you could get counseled. We went back through the history of our lives, dug deep, let it out, and really pursued healing & wholeness in who we are, and how God sees us! It’s been miraculous!! Much more of a journey to come, but so glad we are on the adventure of our lives, together!!! Ben is now back in School of Ministry as a Revival Group Pastor! A miracle to see a church accept & love us through this process & to see the gold in us & to help refine it! Thank you, Bethel Church, for your love & grace!
More than anything I don’t want this blog post to be a reflection of the pain, but without all of the pain & facing the pain I wouldn’t be where I am today. It’s even a bit painful, just reflecting back through the year, but what a testimony that I am here & still not way back there! This process has changed me & I am forever grateful! I am more me than I’ve ever been, Ben is more Ben than he’s ever been, and we are more “us” than we’ve ever been!! It hasn’t been easy. With every victory, there has been an even greater battle, but with each new battle, I am stronger. I never knew the full demonstration of forgiveness. I still don’t, fully, but it’s definitely not just, “I’m sorry!” & “I forgive you!” My heart is to walk in full forgiveness & I know, with God’s help, I will get to that place of what forgiveness truly means! Facing pain has been like facing forgiveness!
How on earth did you get through it, you might be thinking? That’s what I would be thinking… LOL! Courage! Risk! I knew that I knew God had a plan for us to stay together!! I have leaned on the Holy Spirit to get me through it. He is, by the way, ahhhhmazing! Oh that Holy Spirit!! & Connection!! There have been times, even currently times, that Ben & I lose connection…. A myriad of things could spin me, and back to battle I would be, disconnecting from Ben. A key in this process is staying connected and not listening to the lie that would so often speak to me, to stay away from what I needed to be connected to the most–God, Jesus, Holy Spirit & Ben, I am recognizing what it feels to be disconnected more and more, but, it’s been a process, and it’s been okay to process!!! As something would come up, if disconnection happened, the Holy Spirit would give me the strategy to find the connection. I could share story after story about the fight to stay connected! Connection has a whole new meaning in my life!!! Anyways—We had pictures scheduled this last Monday, I had to have a picture of us for this post (smile, smile) and this last week was the battle of battles, and let me tell you, we were as far from being connected as you could imagine… We’re on our way to take pictures, in two separate cars, because of the crazy props that I had to bring, and the Holy Spirit says, “Call Ben & tell him you’re sorry & that you love him!” I did, we reconnected & had the best time as a couple and as a family being photographed. It was a choice! It’s determination to not let what was keeping me down, keep me down, and doing, instantly, what the Holy Spirit would tell me to do.
If I mention names I know I’ll leave somebody out, so THANK YOU, you know who you are, to all of you who have continued to support us, pray for us, encourage us, & have loved us through this! I am forever grateful! All of the cards, notes, texts, they mean the world!! The yellow letters! Each of you who wrote us one, thank you! The color yellow was so significant! So many things yellow on this journey!!!! Thank you!!!!!! I love each of you so very much!!!!!
Quotes found me continually though this process– Thank you to all of you who sent me quotes, they were like water to my soul!!! “Love is everything it’s cracked up to be… It really is worth fighting for, being brave for, & risking everything for!” ~Erica Jong
Blogs— It was surreal at times when I would read someone’s blog & it was as though they were writing my thoughts exactly. I want to share the links with you. They have spoken to me on such an incredible level. I wish I had their writing skills!! Thank you, Tara Whitney, Celebrate Life Photography, & Jasmine Star, your courage has been an inspiration to me & I am flying higher because of YOU!
Songs–(You must download them) Love Came Down by Brian Johnson & No More by Beckah Shae
and Love After Marriage by Barry & Lori Bryne! If you have never attended a Love After Marriage Workshop, enroll today! It will turn your marriage into happiness, your connection into deeper, and life as you know it with your spouse, amazing! It is literally transforming marriages across the nation! I highly recommend it to EVERY married couple! It will seriously CHANGE your LIVES!!!!! Barry & Lori, THANK YOU for everything!!! We are forever grateful for you! Tears!!!!
and to risking everything for!!!!!!!!!!!!! Happier & more in love than we’ve ever been!! I love that I can truly call Ben my best friend! I love that he pursues my heart! I love that we now dream together! I love that we are encouraging each other’s passions! I love that I am no longer his shadow but the one that champions him into greatness! I love you, Ben!!!!!!!!
Oh the glory of blogging!!! I am trying to get caught up, slowly but surely!!! Quite a few more seniors to show off, several amazing weddings, and now some adorably beautiful families! Keep checking back! Lots of fun stuff!!!!
Brittany was so much fun to capture! We re-routed her session two weeks ago because of weather, and were so happy we did, as the weather was just incredible for her shoot!!!! Brittany wants to study dermatology! I love hearing all of the dreams people have!!! Girl!!! Thank you for letting me capture you! Best wishes in all that you dream to do!
I have to say babies at this age are the best!!! Absolutely want to take them home with me…AHHH! So precious they are!!! Mila is growing waaaay to fast. Seems like yesterday I was snapping her newborn pics!! Mila is such a happy baby! Full of smiles & sparkly eyes!! Couldn’t resist taking a quick snap with mom & dad as well, what an absolutely beautiful family!!!!
I just love in-betweens! The moments that are captured that weren’t posed, just a pause, or a gentle hug to know that everything is going to be okay, or a silly laugh, or smile! I love the in-betweens!
I love being found just being “googled!” That’s how Channafer found me!! Thank you, google!! Enjoyed capturing her & her high school sweetheart of two years!!! They were really cute together. A favorite thing of their’s is McDonald’s!! Yes, McDonald’s! Smile! Thanks for the great shoot, you two! Best wishes in all that you pursue!!!
I loved Rachelle’s session! I could seriously be friends with her!! Soo Soo sweet!! One of her favorite things is reading!!! As soon as things slow down I am going to read the book, that I believe she has now read three times, Angela’s Ashes!! Thank you so much for the great shoot, Rachelle! Best wishes in all that you do!! I know life holds beautiful things for you!
“It’s lovely to know that the world can’t interefere with the inside of your head.” -Frank McCourt (Angela’s Ashes)
I met Walter over the summer, as he was attending Bethel’s School of Supernatural Worship & sat in on a few of my Capturing the Heart Photography Classes!! His heart for worship & for revival is beyond evident! It was exciting to hear that he had moved up to Redding to do his Senior Year in High School here!!! I know that God is going to do amazing things in & through your life!!!
“Do not go where the path may lead; go instead where there is no path and leave a trail!” -Ralph Waldo Emerson